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Writer's pictureDr. MoNique Graham

Do we HAVE TO BE emotionally intelligent?

I stared at my phone reading text messages in a group once. I recall just planning my next response which if I actually did respond, it probably would have been received as an attack on the individuals reading. I read and read until the conversation changed to a topic I could speak on without malice, then I responded. I felt that experience was helping me sharpen my EQ (emotional quotient). Do we have be emotionally intelligent? Should we always be cognizant of how our actions affect outcomes? And who is stopping in the moment asking all this? Right?!

We are always on someone's stage. At work, with kids, at home with our family, and in the general public. We are always being put in situations that will possibly warrant asking oneself "do I need to manage my emotion in this situation?" There are times when we are not inclined to and there are times when we hold so strongly to an emotion that can cause a negative reaction, that we throw out all urge to "act right"... and unfortunately those become defining moments; character altering moments. Importantly, moments that make you look back and feel you could have managed your emotion so much better to prevent ramifications.

Our goal should be to always aim high to attain a level of peace within ourselves that we made the best decision for the next moment in our lives within the moments that seem negative and unwanted.

One may ask, why wouldn't I let others know how I feel in a moment? Why should I minimize my desire to respond? But sometimes, not responding is a response. Oftentimes, the universe has a way of presenting an opportunity for you revisit with better outcomes.


I have seen human interactions and even witnessed situations escalate so grossly out of proportion. In those moments we get the opportunity to be the one adjusting and adapting for the purpose of peace. Are we always going to be capable of doing so? No, but so quickly our response to a situation can make it become life altering and we miss reaping the benefits of a better reaction. We do not have to RSVP to every element that attempts to disturb our equilibrium.

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