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Writer's pictureDr. MoNique Graham

Trust

Trust happens to be a word used generally and many humans are unaware of the true elements of trust. Not only that, but they tend to persuade themselves that they are trustworthy without realizing that a distinction like that requires corroboration.


Growing up I had a family member who constantly said she only trusted herself and her genitalia. Weird as it sounded then to me as a child, as an experienced adult I completely understand why she said it. Seemingly, the older you get, or the more you extend yourself to others you discover reasons to be guarded. Reasons to change your pattern and reasons to reassess if and how you accommodate other humans.


Not meaning to be a "Debbie Downer" but rather attempting to capture the reality of what happens when trust becomes a factor to be questioned in a situation. Humans who state that they love and care for you must make a deliberate effort to be good to you, to be sincere to you and to be completely transparent with you. Humans who state that they love and care for you, have to make an effort to treasure the things that depict sincerity, so your trust is not diminished. It is our responsibility as adult humans to recognize, prior to committing an act, the possible ramifications of that act. Nonetheless, if we find ourselves in a position that may somehow, in some way put some shadow of doubt in the mind of the one you care for, then one should make the necessary adjustments to demur! That is what is expected from a responsible adult.


I struggle with a few things in life that I consider to be germane. One of them is trust. I need to trust you to be close to you. I need to trust you to depend on you. I need to trust you to accept you in my inner circle.





When trust gets broken, it can be irreparable; so if the human is important to you, take hold of that. Make your actions salient, make them matter, make them authentic and make them make sense. Human actions typically leave trails in some way and/or in some form. The things you believe will not be discovered or the things you ignore are the very things that come back to create shadows and grey areas. Then there are other humans who spend more time attempting to mend what they forged abiding by the idea that "it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission." Unfortunately, when it comes on to matters of trust, that adage is malapropos. I am just thinking, Do the right things right the first time! It may not always be possible, but if you err on the side of caution it typically alleviates a constant need for humans to be running around issuing apologies especially to individuals who have encountered the pangs of broken trust. Do not be sorry, just do better.


As responsible, loving and caring adults you should recognize that you need to safeguard the relationships and connections that truly matter to you. The really good ones are rare, and if they go away, they are inconceivable to duplicate.



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